


Lost

by sg_wonderland



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode: s07e21-22 Lost City, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 05:59:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15551184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sg_wonderland/pseuds/sg_wonderland
Summary: What would have happened if Daniel had downloaded the Ancient database?





	Lost

Jack had relived that moment over and over, in his mind. And each time it ended differently. Daniel didn’t break away from him; the crisp cotton of his fatigues didn’t slide easily through his fingers. And he kept Daniel from sending himself to a certain death.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t reality. The truth was that Daniel saw what needed to be done. He sacrificed himself to save Jack, to save all of them. He had seen what Jack intended and had beaten him with a noble gesture of his own. 

Jack forced his anger aside and helped Teal’c drag a rapidly fading Daniel to the gate. SG-3 jumped in to help and they all managed to escape Anubis’ onslaught.

“Colonel O’Neill. How did it go?” 

He angrily shoved Daniel past him, jerking his head at Teal’c, who was already muscling his charge toward the infirmary. “Not good, General. The repository was there, but we couldn’t retrieve it. We were under fire.” He paused, took a breath. “Daniel did it, sir. He downloaded it into his brain. I tried to stop him, I did.”

“I’m sure you did, Colonel.”

“I would never have wanted him to do this, sir.”

Hammond patted Jack gently on the back. “Why don’t you go down, check on Dr. Jackson? We’ll debrief in an hour.”

*

Jack loped into the briefing room, trying to convey the impression that he didn’t have a care in the world. Except that Daniel had deliberately, intentionally gotten his head sucked by some Ancient device that would slowly turn his brain to mush and-say it, Jack, just say it-kill him. His eyes were drawn immediately, irrevocably to Daniel, book-ended between Carter and Brightman, with Teal’c hovering helplessly behind him. 

There must have been something in his eyes because Daniel piped up, “Guys, I’m fine.”

“Fine? As in, no problem. Or fine as in, I’m just gonna slowly go nuts, lose the ability to think or speak and then die? How is that fine?”

“Jack.”

“Daniel, I’m seriously thinking about just killing you right now and saving myself the grief.”

“Colonel!” Carter’s livid eyes could have frozen the fires of Netu.

“It’s okay, Sam, it’s just Jack being Jack.” 

The gentle emotion in Daniel’s eyes enraged him further; he slammed his hands on the table. “I don’t want to do this, Daniel. Do you get that? I don’t want to sit here and watch you lose your mind and then…die.”

Daniel leaped up, meeting Jack’s anger with his own. “Do you think I wanted to do that the first time? Watch you? We lost you, Jack, and there wasn’t a damn thing we could do about it. If it hadn’t been for the Asgard, you would have died.”

“And knowing that, you still stuck your head in that thing. What does that make you? An idiot, I’ll tell you what it makes you.”

“I couldn’t let you do it, Jack, not again. And you don’t know that I’m gonna die.”

“You know something I don’t?”

“Sir, it’s possible Daniel is right. He was an Ancient when he was ascended. It’s possible he will be able to retain the repository, tell us what we need to know without being adversely affected.”

“Gotta love your attitude there, Carter. I’d feel better if we called the Asgard, just in case.”

“Already tried, Colonel,” Hammond entered quickly. “No answer, not yet anyway.” His voice softened, “Dr. Jackson, how are you?”

“I’m...” he paused at Jack’s expression, amended his words. “I don’t feel any differently.” 

“So what do we do now, Dr. Jackson?”

“Well, um…when Jack went...Ancient, it took a couple of days. I’d like to spend that time finishing up some stuff I’ve got started. You know, just in case. Dr. Smith has snagged the best linguists we have and she’ll give them a crash course on Ancient. Libby can be a big help, she picks stuff up really quickly. She ought to be able to translate when I...”

“Go Ancient?”

Daniel smiled at Jack’s sarcastic tone. “Well, that’s assuming that I actually do. Since I can speak and write Ancient, I may be able to translate myself.”

Dr. Brightman interrupted. “General, I’d like to suggest Dr. Jackson let someone else on his staff handle the loose ends. He needs to go home, get some rest. From what I understand from reading Dr. Fraiser’s notes, when this happens, he needs to be at his best.”

“But...”

“That’s a good idea, Dr. Brightman, and one I heartily endorse. Take the two days, son, and get some sleep, eat something other than commissary food. Colonel O’Neill, I’m sure I can count on you and the rest of SG-1 to make sure Dr. Jackson takes care of himself.”

*

It took a good half an hour of arguing before Jack finally just grabbed Daniel’s key card and locked his office door, refusing to let him re-enter. “Sorry, Daniel, I’ve got my orders. You in your own little house, your own little bed, eating your own food. Don’t make me get the big guns.”

“I assume you’re referring to Teal’c.” Daniel thought about resisting on principle, but just shrugged as he let Jack drag him to the elevator. He was quiet the rest of the trip out, stopping as he reached his Jeep to look back at the mountain.

“What? Something wrong?”

“No, just thinking. So, I’m going home. And you’re...”

“I’ll be there shortly. Carter and Teal’c are coming for dinner.”

“I guess I’d better see what I can rustle up, then.”

*

 

What Daniel did, however, was walk slowly through his home, wondering if he would ever see it again. He had never been attached to things, but this was the first home he had ever owned. 

He’d never realized how owning a house grounded you, made you think of things you never thought of before. Daniel remembered a short visit to a charming cottage in England and how upset his mother had been when Nick sold it to finance one of his digs. 

He sighed as he walked into the kitchen, opening the back door, just standing in the warm breeze before perusing the refrigerator trying to decide what to cook for dinner. Because, apparently, he was having company.

He ended up falling back on an old favorite, chicken and rice, both of which had been a staple in Egypt. He always made sure he bought brown rice because it reminded him of home. Quickly assembling the dish, he shoved it in the oven, opened a couple of bottles of wine and headed for a shower. His timing was, for once, superb; he was just walking out of the bedroom when he heard a knock at the door. Still drying his hair, he detoured to let Jack in. “What have you got?”

“I brought my own beer.” Jack held up what looked like an entire case.

“And that?” Daniel pointed to what looked suspiciously like a gym bag.

“I’m bunking here with you, big boy. If you think I’m letting you out of my sight, you’re crazy. Er, crazier. I’m on you like white on rice.”

“Jack, I’m fine.”

He kicked the door shut behind him. “Daniel, I know what this is like.”

“You don’t even remember it.” He walked away, surprised when Jack snagged his arm.

“I read your report, Daniel. I saw the footage. I saw how tough it was on you. I...I just want you to know you’re not doing this alone.”

Daniel blinked several times. “Gosh, Jack, it almost sounds like you care.” As a joke, it was a pitiful one.

“Daniel, you are my best friend and I’m sorry I suck at telling you how much you mean to me.” Jack realized that Daniel was blinking again. And not in shock this time. He didn’t hesitate in pulling Daniel into his arms. “We’re in this together, Daniel. I’m not leaving you. No matter what happens.” They just stood there, pretending that Jack’s shirt wasn’t getting damp. “You’re not doing this alone.”

A knock on the door jolted both of them. “My team has the most incredible timing. I’ll let them in, you go fix yourself.” Jack gently shoved Daniel back down the hallway. And waited until he disappeared before opening the door. “Come on in, Daniel’s in the shower.” 

Spying the bottle of wine in Carter’s hand, he led the way into the kitchen, hefting his beer on the way. He grinned at her as she set her wine beside the bottles already there. “Okay, so we’re all getting drunk tonight, I assume.”

“It would appear so, O’Neill.”

*

The first sign Daniel had that it was happening was that he couldn’t remember Teal’c’s name. He looked at him and knew that he knew him, but his name simply wasn’t anywhere in Daniel’s memory.

He would have liked to have attributed it to a hang-over from last night, but he hadn’t gotten drunk. Jack wouldn’t allow it, saying he needed to save his strength. Daniel knew he had to get back to base, it was the safest place for him now that he was, apparently, going nuts.

With a sigh, he sought out Jack, and found him in his tiny back yard. “Daniel, you really need to do something with this grass back here, it’s awful.”

As openings went, it wasn’t the best one, but he plowed in. “Well, I guess you’re gonna have to take care of that for me.” He bit his lip, then plunged in. “Jack, you need to take me back to the base.”

“Daniel?” His hand paused in the act of raising his coffee cup.

“I’m…I’m forgetting stuff. I don’t know how long until..”

“Forgetting? Like what?”

“The big guy inside? I don’t know his name.”

Jack flinched at the uncertainty in Daniel’s eyes. “Daniel.”

“Jack, we don’t have time to argue, pretty soon I’m not gonna know who you are. And I can’t see myself being very cooperative when that happens. I need to go back now, while I still have some sanity left. Just...I don’t want to hurt...”

“Teal’c.”

“Teal’c? I think he was, is, someone who cared about me.” His brow furrowed.

“Yeah, he is. Come on, I’ll take you back. We’ll just tell them you’re feeling a bit under the weather and want Brightman to check you out.”

 

*

Less than an hour later, Daniel was in an isolation room off the infirmary. He didn’t recognize any of the medical staff who came in to tend to him, but he could recognize anguish, so apparently he ought to have known at least some of them.

Hoping it would help, he had requested a notebook and began feverishly writing everything that was in his head. Most of it came out in a frustrating mix of languages and he was forced to go back and translate in the margins. He had no idea how any one brain could hold so many different kinds of words, but his seemed to have no trouble with the feat.

“Daniel?” He looked up at a dark haired woman with gentle eyes. “I’m Dr. Brightman.” He tried to concentrate, find a memory of her but even that simple effort was making his head pound. “Do you need something for the headache?”

Part of him wanted to say yes, another part of him was terrified that if he slept, he’d never wake up. “No, I’m okay.”

“May I look at what you’re writing?” He turned the notebook toward her. “Do you know what this means?”

“I don’t know, it’s all up here somewhere, I just have to sort it out. But there are so many words that I can’t process them all.”

“Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, Daniel. If you’d just relax, it might come easier. Let me give you something for the headache. I promise I won’t sedate you, unless you want me to. This will just relax you, that’s all.” He smiled a little and allowed her to give him the shot. 

*

Jack stopped at the door, trying to school his expression. Daniel no longer knew who Carter or Teal’c were and the loss ripped their hearts out. Jack knew it was just a matter of time before Daniel forgot him, too. “Hey, Daniel.”

“Jack.” Was he imagining a bit of hesitation there? He turned the notebook and Jack looked obediently. “What is this?”

“Don’t have a clue.” He nudged Daniel over and climbed on the bed beside him.

“We need one.”

“Know where we can find one?”

Daniel flipped over a few pages. “Here?”

“Looks like a gate address to me. So, we find this doohickey there?”

“Think so.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to General Hammond, have him send a team.”

“You need to go.”

“No, not leaving you. Someone else can do it.”

“I’m fine.”

Jack looked down into large, fear-filled eyes. “I’ll be back, I’m gonna send someone in to sit with you. His name is Teal’c and he’ll take care of you, okay?”

“Okay.” It hadn’t escaped Jack’s notice that Daniel answered not with his usual eloquence, but with short, sharp replies. As if this was all his brain could handle. He would have raged if he thought it would make the slightest difference.

“Daniel, this is Teal’c. He’s gonna stay right here with you while I’m gone. Why don’t you get some rest?”

Daniel gazed up at Teal’c with a completely baffled expression, then nodded. “Okay.”

“I will stand guard, Daniel Jackson. You need not concern yourself for your safety. Please sleep if that is what you wish.”

“Tired.” Daniel’s eyes shuttered. “Head hurts.”

“Then you will sleep.” Teal’c seated himself at his bedside.

*

“Daniel believes we need to fetch this...doohickey in order to find the lost city. And this is the gate address he gave me. We need to send a team, sir.”

“I’ve got SG-3 on stand-by. If it’s there, Jack, they’ll find it.” He paused. “How is Dr. Jackson?”

“He doesn’t remember Carter or Teal’c. I,” he forced himself to go on, “I think he’s forgetting me too.”

“I’m so sorry, Jack.”

“Not half as sorry as I am, sir.”

*

He watched Daniel sleeping. Daniel slept like he was...Jack winced. No, he told himself, he was not going there. Daniel was just asleep. Deeply asleep. Sleep he needed, sleep Jack couldn’t achieve. He couldn’t sleep while Daniel was so lost, so frightened.

Teal’c looked up and met his eyes. Jack blinked at the terrible pain in those wonderfully expressive eyes. “We won’t lose him, Teal’c,” he whispered. “We won’t.”

*

When he woke up, he didn’t recognize anyone. They kept telling him their names, over and over. But he didn’t know them. He didn’t know the woman Sam or Teal’c, who couldn’t hide the hurt in their eyes. 

But the worst was the one named Jack. Something about him drew Daniel, he didn’t know why but there was a level of comfort there that he couldn’t achieve with anyone else. It could be because this Jack would not satisfy himself by sitting in the bedside chair like the others.

No, he flopped on the bed, lounging on the foot, looking at Daniel or scooting him over and sharing the pillow. Daniel found himself wishing that he were brave. Brave enough to lay his head there, just rest his head on Jack’s strong shoulder until this strange world let him go.

“So, SG-3 got the doohickey. Do you know what we do with it now?”

“Here.” Daniel showed him numbers that Jack instantly recognized as longitude and latitude degrees. He pulled over the laptop Daniel had tried and discarded.

“Antarctica? We have to go to Antarctica?”

“Yes.”

“There’s something down there we missed.” Jack knew the whole place had been searched several times after the second gate was discovered there. “And we have to take the doohickey and it fits there someplace?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll let the general know he needs to send a team there.”

“You have to go.”

“Told you before, Daniel, I’m not leaving you.”

“You have to go.”

“I can’t go.”

“You have to go.”

Jack realized Daniel was repeating himself. And his voice sounded a bit breathless, a bit forced. “Okay, Daniel, don’t get upset. Let me go see the general. I’ll let you know what we decide.” Daniel just nodded wearily.

*

Daniel was asleep when Jack returned. As loath as he was to wake him, Jack wouldn’t leave without saying good-bye. He sat for a few moments, watching the serene face. “Daniel.” He whispered.

His eyes slowly opened. And he smiled.

“Well, we’re headed out. Do me a favor?” Daniel nodded. “Don’t…leave until I get back?”

“I’ll try.” The smile was sweet rather than sad. “Jack?”

“Yes, Daniel?”

“Thanks. I don’t know what you did but I think it was…everything. So, thank you.” His voice was weak, barely a whisper; just speaking exhausted him.

“I’ll see you as soon as I get back. Just hang in there, okay? For me?” 

“For you.” Daniel agreed.

*

Well, it was done. The doohickey, although Carter had told him repeatedly it was something called a ZPM, it would always be a doohickey to Jack, was in place. And Daniel had been right, Jack had to be there, he was the only one who was able to activate the weapon. Anubis’ assault had been repelled. Earth was safe, once again. And SG-1 was ringed up onto the Prometheus. General Hammond was waiting for them.

“Well done, SG-1. Congratulations.”

“Thank you, sir. So, heading back home?”

“Let’s step in here, shall we?”

Jack’s face froze. He knew that behind him, Carter and Teal’c froze, too. “Daniel?”

“Dr. Jackson slipped into a coma shortly after you left.” They followed him into the conference room.

Thor was waiting patiently. “O’Neill, I am pleased to see you.”

“What about Daniel?” Jack didn’t have time for niceties.

“Dr. Jackson’s condition is serious. We will need time to determine if we can successfully remove the database from his memory.”

“And so?’

“The best we can offer is to place Dr. Jackson in a stasis pod while we research the problem.”

Jack scrubbed his face with his hands. “Where is he?”

“He is here. General Hammond asked that you be allowed to see him before we transported him to my ship.”

*

The stasis pod, Jack realized with a jolt, was little more than a glass coffin. There, encased where he was beyond anyone’s touch, lay Daniel. He looked young, serene. Jack laid his hand on the glass, over Daniel’s heart. 

“I’m not saying good-bye, Daniel. Not letting you go. You hear me? We are not doing this, you are not leaving us again.” A slender white hand covered his, and a large black one followed. “Feel that, Daniel? We’re in this together. You and me and Sam and Teal’c. Be a good boy and mind Thor, will ya? And take care of yourself. For me.” 

*

Jack was reeling by the time he got home. Bad enough that they had lost Daniel, but General Hammond, too? Re-assigned, sent to Washington. And a civilian to run the SGC? A civilian who didn’t know a damn thing about the stargate, what it was worth, what it had cost. Jack grabbed a beer. He simply couldn’t take it all in and wasn’t even going to try.

He was on this third beer when his doorbell rang. His first thought was that it was Daniel, then he remembered. No, it wasn’t Daniel and he didn’t care to see anyone else. He seriously considered ignoring the ringing, but he knew he couldn’t. With a sigh, he rose and slowly made his way to the door.

“Hi, sir.” Carter’s smile was clearly forced. “We brought pizza.”

*

 

“Well, it’s official. I hate her.” Jack flung himself into a chair in Carter’s lab.

“I’m guessing we’re talking about Dr. Weir. Sir.” She added as an afterthought.

“Do you know what she had the nerve to say? That Daniel’s situation was on ‘the front burner.’ The front-burner? Like he was a pot of stew or something. Dammit, I can’t stand this not doing anything.” He leaped up to pace.

“Sir, I’ve been thinking.”

Jack tried to make the effort. “Do tell.”

“Daniel knew you had to go to Antarctica, right? He knew the Ancient weapon was there, that we needed the ZPM to power it and you had the Ancient gene needed to fire the weapon. He had to gain this knowledge when he downloaded the database.”

“So?”

“So, I’m saying that even though he might have forgotten who we were, he hadn’t totally forgotten us. He remembered that you had the Ancient database downloaded before. He knew what it would take to defeat Anubis. Sir, I think he knew what would happen when he downloaded the database before he even did it. I think he subconsciously remembered something from when he was ascended and he knew he was the only one who could do this.” She got up to answer her phone. Frowning, she hung up and turned. “That was Dr. Weir. Evidently, we’ve got some system lords who want to negotiate with us.”

*

Not for the first time, Jack fervently wished Daniel were there. Dr. Weir was trying to negotiate with the assembled system lords, but she was struggling with understanding their motivations. Jack could have told her, if she would have listened to him, that their single motivator was greed, pure and simple. They wanted it all and they didn’t want to share with anyone.

Then they dropped the bomb. Ba’al was on his way.

*

“I know what they want, Colonel, I just don’t know how to tell them, as nicely as possible, that they aren’t getting it.”

Jack paced the room he would always think of as Hammond’s office. “God, I wish Daniel were here.”

“And you think Dr. Jackson’s presence would make that much of a difference?”

“I do. For one, Lord Yu, believe it or not, has got a bit of a soft spot for Daniel. And two, Daniel would know how to deal with them. He wrote the treaty with the Tok’ra, kept the Unas from killing him and each other. This ought to be a piece of cake for him.”

“Colonel, I am not unaware of Dr. Jackson’s contributions to this command. And I happen to agree with you, I do wish he were here.”

*

The negotiation had resumed when a brilliant light flashed in the briefing room. And when it flashed out, SG-1 was gone.

*

“Thor! Is that you?”

“Colonel O’Neill, my apologies for borrowing you without prior permission. But I believed you would want to be here. Tran believes he has succeeded in uploading the database. We would like to attempt to revive Dr. Jackson.”

“All right! Let’s get this show on the road. Where is he?” A bright light, then a pod appeared. “Okay, there he is.” Jack loped over, followed by Carter and Teal’c. Daniel looked no different than when he was placed in stasis all those weeks ago. “So let’s wake him up.” Jack was nearly dancing with impatience.

Thor manipulated some stones on the control panel and the pod slowly opened. And Daniel opened his eyes.

“Daniel? How do you feel?”

“My head really, really hurts.” He looked blankly at Jack.

“Daniel, do you know who I am?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Humor me. Tell me my name.”

“Colonel Jonathan O’Neill, leader of SG-1 and diplomat extraordinaire?” He frowned as they all smiled. “Why?”

“You’ve had a bad few days, Daniel. All will be explained later. How about we help you out of that pod?”

“Um, okay. What am I doing in a stasis pod, anyway?” He let Jack and Teal’c gingerly lift him up. “Thanks, Teal’c,” Daniel offered when Teal’c grabbed him as his knees gave out. “Need to sit down.” They lowered him to the floor, where he promptly stretched out. “Just gonna rest here a minute.”

Jack draped his jacket over Daniel. “You just do that, we’ll be home in a flash.” He let his hand linger just a moment. “So, Thor, what now?”

“We have managed to construct a model that Dr. Jackson’s mind designed. We believe it can be used in our fight against the replicators.”

“That’s Daniel for you, even asleep his mind never stops.”

*

Their return to base was a bit anticlimactic. One minute they were on Thor’s ship and the next, they were standing in the briefing room, Jack and Teal’c more or less holding Daniel up. Jack quickly pulled a chair out and helped Daniel sit. Weir came rushing in. “SG-1, glad to see you. Especially Dr. Jackson. How are you?”

“Head.” Daniel plopped his head down on the table with a thump.

Jack winced. “That’s gotta hurt.”

“I’ve called the infirmary, Dr. Brightman is on her way.” They all sat, Jack edging his chair close enough to touch Daniel.

The fact that Daniel allowed himself to be led away without the slightest peep of protest cranked up Jack’s already over-active worry mode.

“Dr. Weir?”

“We’ll debrief later.”

*

They didn’t even pretend, but dashed to the infirmary. Only to be met at the door by a very determined, smiling nurse who informed them that Dr. Jackson was being examined by Dr. Brightman. “She says she’ll call you when he is cleared for visitors.” 

She assumed her bright smile would send them on their merry way. She thought wrong. They dragged chairs out of the infirmary and plopped themselves down in the hall, smiling right back at her as they staked their territory.

“He looked at me and spoke my name, O’Neill.”

“He did, Teal’c, he surely did.”

*

“And I’m saying that if Superman and Batman mixed it up, Superman would kick butt.”

“I disagree, O’Neill. Although he had no super powers, Batman was possessed of a superior logic that would aid him in battle. It would be Batman who would, as you say, kick butt.”

“Carter, what do you think?”

“I think I can’t believe I’m sitting here listening to you two argue like a couple of twelve-year-olds.”

“Neither can I.”

“Daniel!” Three voices chorused out loud as their team mate stood shaking his head at them.

“You are well, Daniel Jackson?” Teal’c grasped his arms tightly.

“Yes, thank you, Teal’c. You want to come back?” Daniel pointed behind him. “They kind of want to keep me for awhile.”

Trailing behind a scrub-clad, damp-haired Daniel, they followed him into one of the small isolation rooms off the infirmary. Jack pointedly held the covers up as Daniel reluctantly crawled in. “I don’t know why they want to keep me, I’m fine.”

“Daniel, a few weeks ago, you didn’t know my name, didn’t know any of our names.” 

“I find that very hard to believe.” 

He glared as Sam fussed with his covers. “We’ll show you the footage. Just...not right now, okay? So what’s the last thing you remember?”

“Shipping out for P3X-439.”

“How? How the hell do you do that?” Jack nudged him sharply.

“Do what?” Daniel nudged back.

“How can you remember the numbers of all these damn planets but you forget the name of your best friend in the whole wide world?”

“Ferretti is here?” Daniel’s lips twitched.

“I believe Daniel Jackson is attempting to make a joke, O’Neill.”

“The key word here is ‘attempting’, I believe.” It hadn’t slipped by Jack that Daniel was slowly sliding down in the bed, his head slumping to the side. “So, why don’t we tell you what we’ve been up to while you’ve been tooling all over the galaxy with Thor?”

“Okay.” The voice was soft, slurred.

“Sir, maybe we should, you know, go and let him sleep.”

“I’m good right where I am.”

“As am I.”

“Me, too.”

They stayed.


End file.
